true story

once when i was home for a break during college my dad came in my room in the morning to wake me up for an early morning appointment. he turned my light on and then just stood there snapping his fingers and not saying anything. i finally rolled over and asked...

me - dad, what are you doing?

dad - keeping the elephants away.

me in my half-awake cloud - there
aren't any elephants in here.

dad - i'm doing a pretty good job then aren't i.

he thought he was so funny!